Sunday, December 6, 2015

Worse than GERD: in which the author complains about Doctor Who

So much for the previous posts!  I'm going to make this brief because I hate to dwell on negativity, but it's gotta be said, so that the thought and the memory can be purged and life can go on.

Doctor Who's season finale sucked. Really, really, really fucking sucked. Sucked worse than a Hoover, worse than a collapsing star. It was worse than an NRA fact sheet, or a Daily Mail editorial. Watching it felt worse than my latest bout with Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease, and depressed me more than the price tag of my meds. I'm in a bad, bad, bad mood right now, and though I keep reminding myself it's only a television show, it's not working. It completely utterly sucked, and it made me mad.

No no, it didn't make me mad; it depressed me. It sucked the life out of me and dumped it down the sink. Something wonderful has been mutilated and I feel betrayed. Stephen Moffat was a good writer once. I trusted him, and I stood up for him against the Billie Piper brigade. How can I face them now? I can see it now, legions of them circling around like vultures, leering at me with their smug little smirks and cawing: "What was that you were saying about the Doctor's Rose Tyler fetish?"

How could you do this to me Stephen?

Let's completely undo the drama of the previous episode. Let's completely undermine all of Peter Capaldi's hard won credibility in the role. Let's completely piss upon the mythology! Let's rename it the Clara Oswin show and be done with it - the obsession with that character has become almost pornographic. The Doctor himself is largely useless. 

What we've got now is a cowardly, reckless, shockingly irresponsible, petty, vindictive, unbelievably idiotic moral imbecile who was once supposedly a paragon of wisdom. Sure he can think fast, and sure he can rewrite the laws of the universe by twiddling his thumbs, but the Doctor portrayed here has got to be one of the most idiotic characters I've seen in modern fiction, a petulant little schoolboy utterly ineffectual without the presence of his chosen mother figure. So much for the previous efforts!

Did I really just see the Doctor shoot a man? An unarmed man? Point blank? In the chest? Did I really just see the Doctor kill someone? Not to defend himself, not to protect someone, not to save the universe, but to simply get something he wanted? Yes I did. And don't give me that guff about regeneration - causing a regeneration is basically murder. And the Doctor, my Doctor, the Doctor, did it quite willfully, for no other reason than to secure something he wanted.

That's not dedication to friend. That's murder.  That's the dangerously obsessive behaviour of a sociopath. with a callous disregard for life. That's the Doctor now.

Ever been let down by your heroes? 

I feel like I've been stabbed in the back, kicked in the balls, fed poison, chained to a bed and made to listen to "Merry X-mas (War is over)" on perpetual loop. I feel I've just had my teeth removed with crescent wrench, a spoonful of hot lead dumped down my ear and bottle full of liquid Drano pumped up the ass.

Oh ye Gods, make it stop make it stop!  Here's some Alestorm. It's the only thing I can think of. . .

1 comment:

  1. There is hope: if his memory's erased, maybe the Doctor will stop obsessing over her. I doubt it - they'll find a way to bring her back and make her the focus of every fucking episode. She's even got her own TARDIS now: why not ditch the Doc altogether and just follow her around?

    Even if they don't, River's on her way back. I'm sure she'll find a way to steal the spotlight.