Update:

Kovrig and Spavor have been officially charged with espionage.

They will probably be sentenced to death.

You buying Huawei?

On being lectured by the Pot; Huawei Canada and other righteous citizens. . .

When it comes to sheer, balls-out, unbridled-by-self-awareness audacity - by which I mean some combination of "impudence", "impertinence", "temerity" "effrontery" and "assholery", - you can't beat Huawei Canada. While the Chinese Communist Party aren't exactly famous for their sense of irony, lecturing me over Twitter about "rights" really made me choke on my breakfast. That the copy was probably written by some stooge from this country made it all the worse.

I really should know better than to expect shame from a country which, even now, is rounding up and imprisoning millions of religious minorities. It is after all what authoritarian regimes do: take advantage of rules they themselves refuse to follow or even recognize. But do they really expect Canadians to be stupid enough to swallow this guff about Meng's rights - ensconced as she is in her luxury Vancouver home, surrounded by the best lawyers money can buy - while Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor rot in some unmarked compound? 

Well, considering this is coming from Huawei Canada, and considering the Tweet had some 31 likes, and considering that the product is advertised by no less than Hockey Night in Canada, I guess they found some of us who did.  

Appropos of. . .a great deal actually. 

Obey the Will of Frod. . .

                There’s a great article in the Guardian by Jonathan Freeland that you ought to read right now. Go ahead:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/apr/12/societies-referees-judges-scientists-journalists-powerful

                You’re welcome. Not that any of it was a surprise to you, but Freeland’s good at articulating that sort of thing. So Frump attacks the media, academia, attacks the scientists, and most crucially of all, attacks the judiciary, because he can’t stand anyone getting in his way. In short, he’s pushing for a world in which he, and Big People like him, can do whatever the hell he wants. Authoritarians the world over shout “Amen!”.

                Did you notice the bit about rich drivers in California routinely ignoring pedestrian crossings? This probably won’t surprise you either, especially if you spend any amount of time on the 403, but I for one kept telling myself it was confirmation bias. Turns out we weren’t imagining it after all: rich folks in their fancy cars really don’t obey the rules.

                Naturally, all this brings me to mind of our own glorious Frumpian wannabe, Premier Thug Frod. And not just for the obvious reasons.

                When Frod’s brother Rob was Mayor of Toronto, he once brazenly admitted that he often took the carpool lanes to avoid traffic. Without actually car-pooling. For me, it was the story that stood out the most, and was most emblematic of his leadership, even though it was probably the least of his wrong-doings.  It just captured so succinctly his complete lack of idealism or higher-order thinking. Nevermind the rules. Nevermind his responsibilities as a public servant. No question of leading by example by actually following the rules. No consideration at all for the reasons the rules are in place or what the rules are intended to accomplish. Rob had to get somewhere and Rob did what he had to do, and no pesky rule was going get in Rob’s way. Is it any surprise then, that the Rob Ford mayorality collapsed into an internationally ridiculed gong-show?

                And the enlightened voters of Ontario loved it so much they put his brother in charge of the whole friggin’ province. . .

                One of the first things the Frod dynasty, with its history of respecting rules https://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/toronto/globe-investigation-the-ford-familys-history-with-drug-dealing/article12153014/),

                did was to go after the “unelected judges”. No mere judge is slow down Thug Ford – he’ll just use a “Nothwithstanding Clause” to ignore the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms altogether. (We can thank the infinite far-sightedness of the senior Trudeau government for that one).   Pardon me if I’m less than thrilled. 

                When Frod calls the judges “unelected”, he’s basically saying “who the fuck are these buggers telling me what to do? I can do whatever I want.” I am not certain that politicians should be able to do whatever they want. Nor am I impressed with his invoking of the “will of the people.”  The will of the people favoured slavery and the Nazi invasion of Poland as well. The braying mobs aren’t always right about everything – the courts ensure that the “will of the people” is carried out in ways that don’t get other people killed.  They should not be undermined at whim.

                The courts basically exist to guarantee your rights. The courts ensure the State cannot do as it pleases with you. The courts see do it that politicians do not overstay their welcome and treat their positions as personal pfiefdoms. The courts ensure you are not tortured in jail, no matter how many votes that might win. The courts guarantee you can piss-off any politician you like.

By way of comparison, let’s have a look at an administration that doesn’t have an independent judiciary.

When the Meng Wanzhou, the Precious Princess of Huawei, was arrested in Vancouver, the Chinese Government threw a hissy fit and detained no less that 13 Canadians in retaliation. Now you may believe that the authorities just happened to have credible dirt on all 13, and just happed to find it right after Meng’s arrest, in which case I’ve got a Nigerian prince on the phone dying to talk to you.

Now most of those, fortunately, have bee released, but Michael Kovrig, a former diplomat, and Michael Spavor, a businessman, are still in custody. They’ve been subject to sleep deprivation, denied legal representation, regular consular services (once a month) and contact with their families. They are hostages of a petty, thin-skinned, vindictive regime that do whatever it wants to people within its borders. They’re certainly not restrained by unelected judges!

Speaking of judges and courts, the People’s Republic didn’t stop there: they dusted off the old case of Robert Schellenberg, a drug smuggler sentenced to life, and sentenced him to death instead. Angry at Canada for obeying its laws and treaties? Grab a Canadian and kill him.

Now there will doubtless be some knuckle dragging troglodytes of the get-tough-on-crime variety who will snarl that Schellenberg is simply getting what was always coming to him: break a country’s laws and suffer the country’s punishment. The thing they should get through their thick skulls is: Schellenberg was punished. He was tried, convicted, and sentenced. He was serving his sentence. That’s how justice works. Then the Party threw a tantrum and changed the sentence in a fit of pique. That is not how justice works. Criminal sentences are not supposed to be subject to political whim: a sentence is binding, in accordance with a set of laws. They’re not supposed to be changed when it’s politically expedient, still less to exert pressure diplomatic spats.

Our “unelected judges” see to it that citizens know what they’re getting. They will have the opportunity to defend themselves, they will not be subject to torture, they know what they are being accused of, and what their punishments will consist of. The government cannot say to you on morning “actually, you’re more useful to us dead”. That’s what happens in China, where the law is whatever the strongmen say it is. Where the Powers that Be can do whatever they want, whenever they want.

So you will see why I’m less than enthused by Frod’s contempt for “unelected judges”. This from the man who would cheerfully use a “non-withstanding” clause to ignore the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. When it comes to upholding and respecting my rights, I’ll go with the judges over him any day.

NevermindButwhatabout Notre Dame?

There has been a lot of "whataboutism" following the partial destruction of Notre Dame Cathedral.

"Whataboutism" tends to follow in the wake of just about any unfortunate event. It tends to take the form of tweets and Facebook posts along the lines of "Yeah that's bad, but what about this?" As if the human capacity for sorrow was finite, and mourning any one particular event necessitated ignoring all others. Rest assured, the minute any one of those events are discussed, someone will whatabout them as well.

The fires of Notre Dame weren't even out before folks went whatabouting for more worthy objects of our attention. I don't mean those trolls in the atheist community who've adapted philistinism in the name of secularism; I mean people who came up with very real, legitimate points. One tweeter exhorted us to remember the burnt churches of Louisiana as well. Another admonished Catholics for caring more about a building than the Church's sex-abuse scandals. We've been reminded that First Nations sacred places are routinely desecrated, and more than a few folk have wondered why billionaires, who've suddenly proven very generous, can't be as generous with people as they are with buildings.

All very true. Unquestionably, true. People are dying. We face ecological catastrophe. We have the power to solve many problems, and choose not to. It is true. It is inarguable that no Cathedral is worth more than a single human life, and it's more than fair to ask why billionaires can't fork out even a fraction of this kind of cash to alleviate human suffering as opposed to replacing bricks and mortar.
All true, incontrovertibly true.

And yet, and yet. . .

There will always be something more worthy, something more urgent, something unarguably more important.  Always and ever. And yet, if existence is to be anything more than mere survival, just living until dying, then allowances must be made for beauty. For curiosity. For wonder. If you compare it to your own life, there will always be something better you could be doing with your time, energy and money.  Ask yourself honestly how often you yourself have opted for Netflix over your long term goals. How often does entertainment beat our enlightenment? Socializing over professional development? You will admit - if you're human - more often than you'd like to admit. There will always be something better. And yet, would you really want to live a life that was nothing but work?

Societies and civilizations work much the same way. For most of human history - arguably, for ALL of human history up-to-and-including the present day - the time, energy and resources of humanity have been squandered disgracefully. Gross inequality, opulence in the midst of squalor, and gluttony in times of want have been the norm. Things are slightly better today, but still quite bad. There are mind-boggling array of seemingly insoluble problems needing to be solved.

Would you really though want to live in a world where we only solved problems? In which not an iota of human energy was spent making nice things - by which I mean, things with no inherent value besides being nice? In such a world, there would be no pyramids, no Stonehenge, no Taj-Mahal, no Sistine Chapel, no Eiffel Tower, no symphonies, no rock-albums, no Hamlet, no Game of Thrones. No music. No art. No movies. Would you choose to live in such a world?

Perhaps you would. Maybe you'd be right. But I don't think I would.

People will always seek to create beauty, and things which will outlast them. When they succeed, they are celebrated. Dynamiting ancient statues of Buddha was not the Taliban's worst crime. But it showed a world-view that didn't allow for beauty or wonder. It was no surprise that people who made no allowances for human desire will care nothing for human life.

So, just as we recoil when vandals smash stained-glass windows or project vomit onto priceless paintings, we mourn the destruction of Notre Dame Cathedral. It does not mean we care for more important things any less.

Even if you don't believe. . .come on, that's pretty cool!

A lot of people seem to really have it in for teachers. Possibly they were made to stay in for recess one too many times. Perhaps they had a substitute in Kindergarten who scarred them for life. Maybe they resented all that homework. Maybe they were just shitty students and resented being reminded of the fact. Whatever the case, they can't stand teachers, don't respect their expertise, don't see their value to society, think they make too much money (oddly while admiring multi-billionaires) and resent their vacations. These people exist, and there will always be politicians willing to indulge them.

Cue Doug Ford, whom I suspect was not a particularly great student. A little while ago we discussed Ford's plans to introduce a math test for teachers. While it is rather galling to be given a math test by someone who hasn't taken a math test in forty years. . .whatever. It's one more hoop in a job full of hoops. Now I hear they want to make it an annual test.

They can go fuck themselves. 

If I occasionally have to prove my competence in a subject I'm teaching, fair enough. But if I have to waste time studying for a test outside my field, year after year because they don't trust me to remember anything. . .forget it. This is not about competence.

This a game of "gotchya!" If they didn't catch you last time, they want to catch you next time. They want to keep trying until they can catch you stumbling in an area outside your expertise. Keep trying until they can get you on an off-day, after a misread or a brain-fart. 

This has nothing to do with helping kids, but entirely about punishing teachers. The message is simple:
 
        We don't trust you.
        We don't value you.
        We don't value your contribution.
        We don't value your skills.
        We don't value your field.
        We're going to keep trying 'till we're rid of you.

Value and values are the big things here. These philistines don't value the arts or humanities, or indeed anything that can't immediately be monetized, and are trying to delegitimize it with punitive tests. I can't help noticing that math teachers won't be taking literacy tests, or IT instructors history (itself only worthwhile for instilling nationalism).

This is an attempt to belittle noble professions and fields, by boors who don't get them. Having my competence questioned questioned by these knuckle dragging troglodytes is particularly galling. This drug-dealing college drop-out wants to test ME on an accademic issue?

I'll take their test when they come and take mine. How well would you do on Grade 11 College Prep English Mr. Ford? How well DID you do?

(And in case you think I'm libelling:

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/toronto/globe-investigation-the-ford-familys-history-with-drug-dealing/article12153014/

https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/05/toronto-deputy-mayor-doug-ford-robs-brother-former-hash-dealer/314893/)

Man oh man, Doctor Strangelove is a great film. I remember in my first year film class, it was the only piece on the syllabus that struck the class dumb. A whole class full of would be critics and cultural scholars couldn't think of a thing to add - just a masterpiece.

It really is the definitive black comedy - never before has self induced mass-extinction been so hilarious. The performances of Peter Sellers, George C. Scott and Slim Pickens are brilliant. The sense of authenticity and verisimilitude is utterly believable. And the tension, induced by that understated martial drumming in the background, is just about intolerable.

And black comedy of course really is the only way such subject could be treated. Around the same time, a similar films called Failsafe was released, with Walter Matthau. Unlike Strangelove it played things completely straight. I remember it being gripping, but it had no lasting value; the reason being, once the credits rolled, it was impossible to take the scenario seriously. Were we <i>really,/i> to believe there was <i>no</> way to recall the bombers? As the politicians of this film (on both sides) are portrayed as inherently enlightened, reasonable men - leaving us to wonder how such eminently reasonable people could have gotten us into such an insane mess.

As a satire, <i>Strangelove</i> doesn't require that kind suspension of disbelief. It has no such faith in the sanity of our leaders or institutions Lunatics all! Not of them understands the enormity of their power any more than the rest of us. Which, paradoxically, feels closer to the truth.

Because the Cold War really was that crazy, there really were guys like Jack D. Ripper and Buck Turgidson on the US general chiefs of staff. General Curtis Lemay, having made his name with the firebombing of Tokyo and the charmingly named Operation Starvation, did indeed advise JFK to bomb the Soviets first during the Cuban Missile Crisis. The other side was no better: they had Joseph Stalin. . .

(Yes I know, dead in '53. But imagine if HE'd lived 'till '63. . .)

That's what the world was like at the time. The power to destroy the world, in the hands of men (all men) who half wanted to do it. Facing down enemies no one understood or could predict. In this context, even Turgidson's concept of the "mine-shaft" gap is crazily plausible: what if the Russkies <i>did </i> spend all their time in their own mines arming and mobilizing and waiting to emerge to conquer their neighbours? It's not so crazy: ask the Finns!

How did we get to such a ridiculous place? Alas, humanity's gadgets evolve faster than its brains. We had a lucky escape, but now, as climate change appears irreversible, we may yet get to do ourselves in. The only way we can really confront insanity on that level is through satire.

(And the best thing about it? It was all true:
https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/almost-everything-in-dr-strangelove-was-true)  

Book Weeks. . .

Because someone else was playing this game earlier.  . .

Books are the greatest invention human beings ever game up with. Books are what justify our existences. Books are the encapsulation of human souls.

Here are the ones that matter most to me in no particular order:

The Halloween Tree - Ray Bradbury. 
Just about the only book I know that completely changes shape when you read it later in life: what was thrilling, whimsical and charming as a child becomes horrifying to the adult. But it is not an indictment of childhood naivete, but of adult cowardice.

Something Wicked This Way Comes - Ray Bradbury 
What do you fear? Mr. Dark knows! How can you stop him? Only you know. . .












Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury. 
Notice a trend here? About books themselves - lose them and we lose our souls. It's happening now, it's happening now. Books aren't being burnt, but we're not reading them. Pay attention, look around. . .






Life and Fate - Vasily Grossoman. Sandwiched between Hitlerism and Stalinism, war and genocide, tyranny and anarchy, can human dignity survive? In Grossman, it can and it has.








The Captive Mind -Czeslaw Milosz  Why did so many sell their souls to Stalin? Would you be any different?

Breaking the Spell - Daniel Dennett. It amounts to. . .what do we really know about ourselves?  How can we know? That's largely what I took from it anyway. . .

"Politics and the English Language" - George Orwell. I'm including essays - they count. To really know Nineteen Eighty Four, you have to know the context from whence it came. Read all the Orwell wrote, but most especially read this. Language has power. Don't fuck with it. If there is a way to save ourselves from ourselves (by no means a sure proposition), it lies with Orwell. Read this. Pay attention, and never EVER allow language to be distorted or abused. Seriously, read this. I mean it.

Momo - Michael Ende. 
I only reluctantly read this in grade nine. Only late did its significance really sink in. I believe it's a true story. Evil forces in the world are after your time and your stories. Only children can save you.

"Baloney Detection Kit" by Michael Shermer. An update of the Carl Sagan kit of the same name, this is an inoculation against bullshit. Don't worry about the nonsense Shermer puts on his Twitter feed, this is still valuable.









Harlan Ellison - Harlan Ellison. 

Neil Gaiman compared Harlan Ellison to a massive piece of performance art, of which the stories were just a part. A professional liar by admission, Ellison was a walking story, he lived and breathed stories, he was a story that never old and never got stale. It's impossible to list any one work, as they all seem part of a continuum, inseparable from the man himself. Ellison himself was the book, and every story, anecdote and aphorism a chapter.


The Farthest Shore - Ursula LeGuin. Something by LeGuin had to get in. Anything that can make sense of death deserves mention.

TimeQuake - Kurt Vonnegut Jr. 

Though by far not his best work, it does nevertheless encapsulate what Vonnegut was about.










The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams. 
Profound in ways nobody got the first time.

The Book of Laughter and Forgetting - Milan Kundera. Deeply important, but I've forgotten why. . .













A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens. 

Something by Dickens needed to get in. Courage, sacrifice, humanity. His boldest statement of purpose, his greatest moment of moral clarity.  Perhaps not as uplifting as A Christmas Carol but .. .fuck, I'll include that too.







"A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. Cliche be damned, the book is joy-in-a-box. It's not about buying shit at Christmas time. It's an appeal to our better natures. Kindness is the only value that matters, and remains the only worthy goal of any philosophy or religion. Amazing how simple, but how difficult that can be.  . .






Hamlet - William Shakespeare. 
It's a play, so it doesn't really count. But it is the greatest story ever told by the most honest writer who ever lived. The writer who almost made all the others redundant. . . .